Dating a former anorexic
That said, it doesn’t get you off the hook if your partner has disclosed an eating disorder to you.
Think about it this way: Casually talking about your diet, your weight, or your workouts can be as triggering to an eating disordered partner as casually telling a rape joke in front of a partner who has been raped or sexually assaulted (and I’m going to make the bold assumption that you’re not the kind of person who thinks it’s a good idea to casually make rape jokes in the first place).
However, you can learn to express your excitement by channeling that energy into something you can do together, like a movie night or a trip to a karaoke bar.
If that doesn’t seem like something you can do – – then you and your partner might need to have a conversation about ending the relationship.
Treat your recovered or recovering partner the same: Honor the illness for what it is, offer what support you can , and give them time to feel the feelings.
In recovery, your partner will hopefully have learned coping skills and/or developed a support system.
Dear Partner, You probably didn’t think that the text you sent last night about your Crossfit personal record might be a problem.
You wouldn’t tell someone with bipolar disorder that they should get over it or chill out (and if you would, you shouldn’t).Leave the advice to the professionals and, as an intimate partner, just be a shoulder to cry on. (And if it doesn’t pass, then please remind your partner to call a therapist or qualified professional for help.)Changing your language and your lifestyle in order to be someone’s partner is an inconvenience – true.But if you’re a heavy drinker, and you to date a recovered alcoholic, you learn to stop suggesting dates at the wine bar.But for day-to-day food weirdness, it’s not your job to decide how many cookies do or do not get eaten.The recovered individual gets to find his or her own path and learn how to become comfortable eating around others, one strange meal at a time.