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Ladies, as uncomfortable as this may sound for the guys, you might be in a difficult position here as well, depending on how well you know the man initiating with you. Then I’d ask, have you had any chance at all to see him in group settings, or do you know him by reputation?

If you don’t have even information at that level, feel free to tell him that you want some time to think and pray about it (that is, if you’re not sure at that point that you’re not interested).

You probably won’t know at this stage how things are going to ultimately turn out regarding marriage (that’s why you date), so you need not communicate that right away.

But you should know what you’re trying to find out and what your intentions are — that is what you, as the man, must be clear about.

If you know the man well or at least better than what I’ve just described, but you are not sure whether you are interested in him, I’d encourage you to at least take some time to get to know him before giving an unequivocal “no.” Keep in mind that this is different from feigning interest when there isn’t any.

There are instances in which you can be genuinely unsure about a guy but still move forward this far.

If a man initiates with you, ladies, think and pray and seek counsel before simply dismissing him.

Guys, tell her why you have initiated or are initiating with her, tell her that you intend to pursue the relationship to determine if marriage is the right choice before God.

In my view, this establishing of intentions should be done near the beginning of any exclusive or romantic time spent together — preferably within the first two or three “dates” during a deliberate conversation on the subject.

What kind of time should couples spend together in the early stages of a relationship?

The answer turns on what you are trying to find out about this person at this stage of things.

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