Dating book for black women who want to dating versus boyfriend girlfriend
Sabina Jones is a sophomore at Columbia College majoring in English.
Her column Transatlantic Trade ran alternate Wednesdays.
That fight for attention is nonsensical because it upholds the system that devalues us as romantic partners, gives too much value to the people who date us, and causes us to cut friendships and other relationships that sustained us before romance. Race aside, no one’s only close friend or only source of support should be their significant other.
You need other relationships to be a well-rounded individual, and placing your happiness in the hands of another twenty-something college student seems like a large risk, especially at Columbia.
The majority of people here who I would consider close friends are black women like me.
One of the most common laments I hear on campus is those of single people who want a relationship, not because they like any particular person, but because they want that outside source of validation to solidify their social standing.
As such, you expect to find some type of solidarity between black women.
When I see another black woman on campus, I have in my mind the idea that we both should make an effort to wave or talk, because despite any differences in our backgrounds, we still are in the same position: a black face in a PWI.
It requires painstaking emotional labor and care to become the person that those around you take for granted.
You are expected to speak on the behalf of others in addition to yourself, which isn’t fair because a lot of the time when it comes to issues that only affect you, no one is behind you to speak on your behalf: not black men, not non-black people of color, and not white people.