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“For a while,” she went on, “I kind of fell into believing the nonsense she was spouting at me.It was doubly strange, because I really didn’t think of myself as less, or subhuman—not to anyone else anyway.But with her, I let it hurt me and altered my behavior accordingly to appease her.She wanted to bully me, and I had to let her.” Her current relationship, Violet said, is much different.After he and I broke up, I knew that a “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule wouldn’t do in future relationships.

Even so, in certain situations, it was sometimes challenging to not over-rely on my sexuality as a source of power and esteem.

Case in point: In July, a coolly composed Blac Chyna had posted personal information about his relationship with Chyna on his Instagram account, including sexually explicit images, and accused Chyna of cheating on him and using him for his fortune.

Legal experts, including Chyna’s now-lawyer Lisa Bloom, argued that —celebrity reminders of how the stigma against current, former, and transitioning sex workers can affect our romantic relationships.

One recommendation to those who are romantically interested in someone working in the sex industry, or in the process of leaving it: Do not pressure them to quit. Even when we do, transitioning out of the industry can be difficult.

Four years after I transitioned out of the sex industry and became a public school teacher, I lost my career after for writing and sharing stories about my provocative past.

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