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After my daughter enters the house, restart your car and quietly leave my property.The speed limit is 10 mph entering or exiting the property. It takes very little for me to mistakenly determine that the dust cloud from your fancy car on the dirt road from the highway is an attack on our home.The one I remember was by a policeman who had rules about dating his daughter. This is similar to what I gave my girls to hand out to the interested young idiots who thought young women or old men don't deserve respect.Like he needed to meet the young man and get a good look at his face so if there was ever any problem he could hunt the young man down on the street. 10 Rules for Dating my Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering, because you're sure not picking anything up.

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Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating my daughter.Please don't take this as an insult, but I think you and all of your friends are complete idiots.Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: Should you come to the door with your underwear showing and/or your pants ten sizes too big, I will not object.

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