Safely dating someone with herpes
Is the risk higher than being in a relationship with someone who is confirmed negative? But is it realistic to only be in relationships with people who have been recently tested for herpes? For most people, herpes outbreaks happen less and less frequently as time goes on.
From Shakespeare and South Park to sex ed and parodies of Valtrex commercials, herpes has been treated unfairly by mass society. “Most STI panels do not test for herpes, most people are asymptomatic (meaning they do not have signs or symptoms or experience outbreaks), and even the tests that are out there often return false negatives if someone was recently exposed or does not have a high enough concentration of the virus or the antibodies for the virus (depending on the type of test).”Dwelling on how someone got herpes is wasted mental and emotional energy, when really, you should be focusing on the next steps for your relationship in the here and now.“When thinking about herpes diagnosis as an indicator someone has cheated, let me pose this question: When you catch a cold or the flu, do you look for the culprit? And that's because there's no stigma and shame associated with catching the cold or the flu.This is between you and your girlfriend, fiance, wife, boyfriend, husband, life partner or whatever. When we take that away, we stop freaking out.”Herpes is contracted through skin-to-skin contact and through sexual contact, including oral, anal, and vaginal.You have the opportunity to be open-minded about this. It’s most contagious during an outbreak (when there are visible sores), but HSV can shed viruses when a person is asymptomatic as well.You find the lifestyle and sex life that fits your comfort level.In the same way that no birth control method reduces the chances of pregnancy to zero, couples eventually find the right balance between caution and calculated risk.